SpecialAgent Daniel Shaw Just Adores Justin Beiber
by jaytoyz
Summary: Shnuff Fic...yeah, I know...he's back again...sorry, just love killing the db...some Shaters just can't let go...the title says it all...kinda...ah, go on and read it...you know you wanna...what have you got to lose? valuable alone time?sorry bout dat. JT


A/N: I can't help myself...I really can't..but I will blame this one on Oldest Man...he was the unwitting, and probably not happy about being named as, inspiration for this load of hooey...I tried banging my noggin against the wall but no go...the idea wouldn't leave so I just used my fingers for ...typing, yeah, that's it, typing...and, ta dah...more Shating babble...my third Shnuff fic...oh god, when will he stop...on a positive note...halfway through next swimmer and five pages...hand-written, i might add, of next walkabout.

I don't own any of the characters or people... living, dead or talentless...who are mentioned here. Also, no beta was mentally disfigured by being forced to wade through this swill...see, I not a totally horrible person...I didn't make anyone else suffer needlessly...hey, if you're reading this...well, you obviously made a choice...right or wrong depends on who's judging your taste...of course, reviews are always looked upon as treasure and sometimes...when I'm feeling wonderful and special...I'll respond...and you who recieve those responses...well, just know how special you are...it really has nothing to do with my near pathological need for contact with the outside world...hell. I live there...I gets lotso contact...I'm just saying...please R&R.

Thanks Jim.

Daniel Shaw Just Adores Justin Beiber

Agent Sarah Walker, Colonel John Casey and Chuck Bartowski were all seated around the large work table in the middle of Castle. They were all staring at the ovoid shaped lock-box that was sitting in the middle of the table.

Chuck Bartowski looked confused, as if he were insure why they were all sitting there together.

Agent Sarah Walker looked confused, as if she couldn't decide if she should be happy or sad.

Colonel John Casey looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary. The smile on his face was bigger than either Chuck or Sarah could ever remember seeing before.

Overhead, the video monitor suddenly came to life and the stern visage of General Diane Beckman was staring at them…one eyebrow raised with an un-asked question. The three remaining members of team Bartowski looked up at almost the same time, each one pretty sure what the General was about to ask.

"Well, does any one of you have any idea just what the fuck happened with Agent Shaw?"

Chuck and Sarah both looked shocked at the General's casual drop of the 'F' bomb since they had never heard her use it before. Colonel John Casey had heard her use it before…many times, in fact…and he toned his smile down…just a little.

"Well? I'm waiting…"

"Yes ma'am…well" Sarah started and then paused to shake her head before continuing, "I don't have a clue why…why…well, why he acted as he did. The video speaks for itself…I guess."

Casey snorted and the quickly hid his mouth behind his hand.

The General quickly turned her attention to her agent. "Well, Colonel, do you have some light to shed on this stupendous cluster fuck?"

Casey coughed before turning his attention to the video screen. "Well, as Agent walker pointed out, the video does speak for itself."

"Oh really, John. How absolutely fucking helpful you're being right now. Would anyone else like to help by saying 'the video speaks for itself'?... Well, would you Chuck?"

Chuck just sat there, not sure how…or even if, he should answer. "Well…ah…General…the…ah…the video does…"

"Yes, I'm very aware that the fucking video speaks for itself…what I need to know is why! Let's watch it together, shall we? Maybe then one of you can tell me why Special Agent Daniel Shaw fired two rounds of explosive ordinance into the head of one of America's most beloved musical talents who is loved by millions around the …"

The sound of Casey's snort caused the General to pause and focus her attention on a suddenly red-faced John Casey who was clearly mumbling to himself.

"What? Do you have something you wish to add, Colonel Casey?"

"Beloved musical talents?" Casey asked, the disdain obvious in his voice.

"Well, Colonel…maybe he was never in a Thompson Twins cover band, like yourself…but he had millions of fans around the world. And…the video clearly shows just how devoted those fans were."

"Thompson Twins cover…"

"Shut it, Bartowski! It was junior high and…just Shut It!" Casey said as he shot to his feet and slammed his fists onto the table.

Chuck slid his chair back from the table, afraid that he might have to make a run for it. A quick glance to his side showed him that Sarah had also slid her chair back and looked ready to help…if needed.

"Sit down" the General said. "SIT THE FUCK DOWN…ALL OF YOU! …Now, before we watch the video…does anyone have any clue what may have set Agent Shaw off? Colonel?"

"No ma'am. I was in the armory, cleaning Mat…my weapons when Agent Shaw walked in, picked up the weapon and a bow of the special ordinance and then walked back out. He was mumbling something about an 'annoying, talentless little wannabe…I just assumed he was talking about Bartowski. I knew he wouldn't really hurt him so I paid it no mind."

"Bartowski?"

"Ah...General…well, was upstairs all morning…ah, working. The first I knew about it was when Jeff and Lester suddenly started yelling and cheering…I believe that was when the video first appeared."

"Walker?"

"Ma'am…when I walked in, Agent Shaw was seated at the table, going over some list. I guess he heard me humming because he looked up at me and said, 'that's it'. He then put a check next to something on the list he working on…and then he put it into his lock-box…this lock-box" she said as she pointed to the center of the table.

"Well…what are we waiting for…open it. Maybe that will explain why Special Agent Daniel Shaw was at that book signing…why he fired two explosive rounds into that young man's head and why…nearly five thousand pre-teenage girls tore his body into such small pieces that a positive ID could only be made through DNA markers?"

While the General had been describing the attack, Chuck could've sworn that Colonel John Casey had actually gotten excited…and not in a fun way…and had to sit back down to mask the sign of his arousal. He had to look away so he turned to find Sarah looking at him, her face mirroring the queasy look he was sure was on his own.

Sarah reached for the lock-box and pulled it towards her. Picking up the key that was sitting nearby, she slid it into the lock and watched as the box slid apart. Reaching in, she pulled out the piece of paper that was resting on the top. After giving it a quick glance she passed it to Chuck who looked down and then handed it over to Casey. Moments later the silence was broken by the sounds of Colonel John Casey laughing and then suddenly stopping, his smile replaced with a look of sadness.

"Would you care to explain your outburst, Colonel?" the General asked, clearly confused because she had never seen John Casey laugh at anything…or cry, for that matter…because that was what Casey was suddenly doing.

Casey looked up at the monitor, tears running down his cheeks…a look of pure heartbreak in his eyes. "It's the list…dammit…why couldn't he have finished it? Why?"

"Mr. Bartowski…what list?"

"This list, General" Chuck answered, holding the list up towards the monitor's camera.

Justin Beiber

Lady Gaga

those Twilight Twerps

Barney

GLEE

Jonas Brothers

Mary-Kate & Ashley

New Kids On The Block

Bob Saget

"Well, it seems that Agent Shaw had some emotional problems" the General said, "I understand the check mark next to the first name on the list but why is Bob Saget's name crossed out?"

"General, if I may?"

"What is it, Bartowski?"

"Well, General…it's just a guess…have you seen the movie The Aristocrats?"

"Ah, yes. I see your point. Ok people…it's time to switch into cover-up mode. Scrub all traces of Shaw from the systems…we don't have a clue who that 'nut-job' was, am I understood?"

"Yes ma'am" they all answered at once before the monitor went dead.

Casey locked eyes with Chuck. "It's just too bad he couldn't have finished his 'list'…but I think you're right about Saget…he really is a funny mother and that movie totally redeemed him for those horrible TV shows."

"Chuck…what movie are guys talking about? The Aristocrats…is that the cartoon from Disney…"

"Oh Sarah" Chuck said as he threw his arm around her shoulders, "you have so much to learn. OK…movie night, tonight I'll pick the movies and you pick the take out. Be careful what beverage you choose…better make it non-carbonated."

"Why" she asked, clearly confused.

"Because it will hurt less coming back out of your nose" he replied with a smile.

"Oh…not sure I follow but, ok."

"Better listen to him, Walker…I almost pissed myself the first time I saw it. Hey…I know I've never asked but…mind if I crash your movie night? I'll even bring Bubba Hotep."

"Of course, Casey…tonight anyway. We wouldn't want you to be alone…after seeing you cry."

"Shut it, moron. It's allergies."

"Oh right…so which twin were…"

"Bubba Hotep?" Sarah asked as she stepped in between her two partners.

"Oh yeah, Elvis in a nursing home and…" Chuck started.

"…a black JFK and life stealing mummy" Casey added with a smile, Chuck beating forgotten for the moment.

"Oh…well, since I'm getting the food…at least I know it will be good" she said as she turned to leave. "Later, boys."

A/N: yeah, you know you wanna...take the time and tap that...review bar. JT


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